here is our daughter

Du Xiao Yue
born: August 11, 2010
province: Jiangxi

We are waiting for translations to know more information. Her name is loosely translated to little moon. WE ARE OVER THE MOON!

R4 rumor - engines ready!

The symbol above is from the web site China Adopt Talk (RQ / Rumor Queen presides). Tonight just before I was putting away the iPad, she posted that she is moving the rumor of referrals being finished and sent to an R4. An R4 is:

"Rumor that we feel good about. It comes indirectly from a source that is usually right, or it is coming from multiple sources, but just not quite enough to give it an R5 Designation yet. This is the first rumor that I put my reputation behind. It is listed on the Scorecard."

This is huge. She says it may be tomorrow or Friday! WOW!!! Gosh, hope I can sleep. Was up last night from 2-3:30 a.m. so who knows? I just hope all skipped families like us are in is batch.

heard it though the grapevine

The gossip coming out of Spain is that the CCCWA finished this batch of referrals. They went up to the LID date of July 6th, 2006 and that they have been sent.

What this MIGHT mean for us: if all information has been correct that we have been given, we are expecting our referral in the next batch. So, if this rumor is correct, our referral should be on it's way here. Again, a rumor, but I am told a reliable source. Now, let's just pray that we are NOT screwed over again.

camp

These are "pre-camp" photos from today. He loves his backpack but today it was heavy! These are the best shots I could get and they were from my phone. Bennett had a great day, really did well. Tomorrow will be even more interesting as I'll drop off at curb (instead of walking in) and he will not have any early intervention teachers helping in room.

going to camp

Bennett is starting camp tomorrow. He is going to camp at the temple where he will go to preschool in September. Howard and I felt that he really needs an opportunity like this in order to transition well in the fall. Camp three mornings a week for three hours a day means I will have respite! Hip-hip-hooray. The time will go by fast. I won't know what to do with myself. (well, I will know what to do, just saying that...)

The photo. Yes, Bennett is now two and a half. This photo was taken when he was six months - two years ago. Howard and I love this picture. When you go to camp, you hike...... I just love my guys!

bonding, respite and an amazing gift

I just received an amazing gift. One of my very best friends is flying me and Bennett to see her for a visit. It will be before things get (hopefully) very crazy here with travel plans. This will give me a bit of respite. Her place is very serene. This trip will also give Bennett and I a last hurrah of bonding and one on one time before his sister gets here.

I will never know how to thank this lovely woman enough. It was hard for me to accept such a generous gift but she said it would show a sign of maturity. Ok, so I guess I'm growing up. At my age, showing more maturity is not ALL good!

I am a very blessed person.

rumors

Rumors are starting to flit around. Our agency told us that the person who has to sign off on each referral has been out of the country and was expected back the 19th. Before you ask: YES! ONLY ONE PERSON DOES THAT JOB!!!! So the big question for us is: will they get back and sign off on referrals that are waiting in the matching room OR just wait and put us in with the next batch?

People feel that the next batch should be at end of month / beginning of next. Should by way of recent trend. Those trends change often though. People think that we will hear of matching for this next group as early as this week. I am hoping as I feel that they will prob. hold ours until the batch comes out.

I have pushed away the adoption a bit again. And by doing so, I have been able to function better! I am sure when the rumors get hot and heavy I'll be a wreck again.... sigh

feeling a bit unraveled

Feeling like I am unraveling a bit. Finding better perspective is hard. No news from China.

I did have a visit from mom last weekend. She helped me with my yard sale. It was a great but short visit. We got rid of a lot and all the money is put aside for China. It was fun as four other neighbors also had sales. It was a nice experience getting ready and working with people on my block. We are so fortunate to live on a great street.

I feel like it is Thursday and it's only Tuesday. By the way, I never did learn how to fix a knitting problem like the one above.

Happy 60th Birthday Nana

I'm making you a cake Nana! Hope you had a good day. Love you.

one week

It has been one week since the referrals from China started coming in for this batch. I was so crazy excited one week ago. And nervous. By Wednesday I was nervous that something was wrong and it would not ever be coming. Still don't have a clear picture what is going on. It is hard when people say that it will be ok, will work out. I do not know that, do not feel that. Just wish I had solid information as to when our daughter will be matched to us.

a lovely "virtual" community

I want to make a minute to thank a very special "virtual" community that I have become a part of. I have already mentioned the site China Adopt Talk. There are threads of conversation that cover everything from adoption - zoos and all in-between. They have been a great source of information and support these last few months. I want to share with you the type of support I have been given recently:

Who is still waiting for their referral?  I know Monique is waiting, anyone else?  I think this would be a great thread for encouragement for all the families still waiting for their babies.  Let's bump this thread up often...we don't want any June babies to be forgotten until they all come home!!   We're pulling for you and holding our breath right along with you!!  Feel free to update us and vent here as well!!

The other day my big girls noticed we had not taken down our beads/ counting off LID's we had 5 still hung up, and we are home with our baby. I told them we would leave them up till ALL of June has their referals, so those beads can just hang there a little longer while we wait for your baby then. It will happen.

These are the types of comments that warm my heart and keep me going. And there are so many, many more. Thank you all (esp. the Junies)....... from the bottom of my heart.

holding on to a small pebble of hope

I am hearing a few stories of families getting their referrals in the last two days. One family was told there were some computer issues going on in the China office. These types of stories, although just as fustrating for those families, leaves me with a small pebble of hope that our referral may come sooner than later.

I'm angry and my hands are tied

No word coming today from China as to why our case is in the matching room. I am unfortunately hearing of a few other people getting screwed over too. There is a family in Norway that has to wait because they were asked for new info back in 2007. A second family in Norway has no idea why they didn't get their with a date of 6/22/06. Someone here in states got an incorrect referral and it is supposed to be fix and back by next week. That gives me a small amount of hope that at least they CAN get something turned around if needed.

I am VERY, VERY angry today. And very scared. Trying to move myself away from this again emotionally but it is hard. I feel like we are still on the edge of a cliff waiting for the next shoe to drop. It was one thing to have a problem last month, we weathered that. To have this happen too? Very suspect if you ask me. YES, I call my agency everyday. They are trying.....

The referrals that did come in are super sweet. It is amazing how many girls are 5-6 months old! Wow, I would just love it if our daughter were that young. I would like a bit of space age wise between Bennett and his sister but time will tell. I'll let you all know if I hear anything. Thanks for the continued support.

today's feelings

I woke today feeling sure I would get to know who my daughter was. Finally after five years. I got my call midday when DHL would have brought the referral. The agency said it was not here. She had called to China and her agent last night to inquire. Sure enough, our case is in the matching room still. Why? NO IDEA. Suppose to be a few there but who knows. I was crushed. We were to be matched last month and there was a problem now we are TO BE IN THIS BATCH!!!!

The thing that upset me most is when agency said " I'm not sure when it will get done, weeks?". What the Fu€£ WEEKS!!!! When I stopped crying, spoke to Howard and calmed down, I called her back. She is as upset as we are, well not AS upset but you get the picture.

I requested another call to China for the agent to go back and find out ANY and all information she can. ESP. when they think the case will go out. I am pissed off, scared, annoyed, sad.

Hoping for some positive info by end of week.